I feel you Meg. I feel you.

“The most important gadget”

I have read a ton of Q&As and if you ask prolly 99% of today’s civilization, their most important gadget or what thing you couldn’t leave at home with, the answer would be their cellphones. In a world where we thrive to connect, we are virtually wired. We do everything on or cellphones that we would probably head back home if we realize we left our phones on or bed because Dad was honking to leave. Well, that happened to me today. I couldn’t go back because it would be another 30 minute drive and I was running late for my class. I’m the chairman of the bloc, and my blocmates and my instructor would probably call or text and I wouldn’t be notified. I was going to attend a book signing and my friend was on the other section. There was a flurry of mishaps playing in my head on what was going to happen to me just because I left my phone.

I had no choice but to face the day head first. A part of me was worried but a bigger part of me was looking forward to how the day was going to be. First, I rode the ferry and excitedly searched my bag for my earphones and phone to play music for the 15 min ferry ride, but I remembered that I left the latter. And because of that, I heard the ferry go against the wind, the water rush, the child cry, the newspaper being held by a man in long sleeves, and the slow snoring of a woman—and those I heard just today despite riding the ferry twice a week. Second, a blocmate who had to be excused because she had another important appointment to attend to had to look for me instead of just phoning me, regarding her request. I got to see her and give her my good lucks—if that was on the phone, it was short and unreal. Third, my friend who was going with me to the book signing whom I have not been with for the last three weeks on a daily basis had to basically sit and cling with me as we wouldn’t have any other communication than our eyes and mouths. If I had my phone, we would just text each other and see each other outside. Lastly, the feeling of utter independence and freedom. Not a ring one was going to interrupt your trivial thoughts, not a vibration could stop your excited mouth, no notif could suddenly switch your mood.

Well, today was unfortunate because I came home with 30 unread messages and 8 missed calls. Who knows what they could be, I hope they’re not too important. But the most important thing about my little accident is that, without our “all-too-important gadget”—WE HEAR MORE, SEE REAL FEELINGS, ATTACH AND CLING, AND BECOME FREE

We may never stop associating our lives with these phones but I just hope we don’t forget that our world is beyond the confinements of our smartphones. 😁

At 8:08 PM

They fall one after the other.
No one knew why.
I don’t either.

Tomorrow they’ll vanish
Like they were never there.
No one will know of the anguish.

Maybe I lost myself
Because I tried
To please the shelf.

Today.

I am doubting myself.
I am doubting my capabilities.
I am doubting the things that I already know.
I am doubting the cord that ties me to my dream.
I am doubting the possibility of becoming number one.
I am doubting the theories I once put above my head.

And…

I am doubting if I truly deserve all these.

This is such a petty reason and that there are other more people who face bigger challenges and shortcomings-but as a seventeen year old, this is my world. My existence probably rely on these. The pride I long to give to my parents rely on these.

Months ago, I was certain that it was possible. Even if it felt like a shout to something that’s void, I never thought of a a scenario like now.

But as what they say, “there’s always a first time.” And I will make sure that this would be the first and the last. I’m gonna give it all now. If this would fail, I would take it as a sign an probably say bye.

Well, sometimes we have to give up what has passed and just brace ourselves for what’s to come. That was today, I will brace for tomorrow.

DREAM over PASSION

People have repeatedly said, “Make your passion your work, and you will never work.” I have believed that, yes, past tense, because I realized, there are things bigger than passions… those are DREAMS.

DREAMS are the root of goals and successes. Yes, passion maybe an instrument why you reached that goal but dreams are the bigger pictures. Yes you will never get tired of doing your passions but sometimes, giving in to bizzare dreams just make up the world. Sometimes, it’s not the passions that makes the dreams. It’s the DREAMS that build your real passions.

For an instance, how I chose my college program that I am pre-enlisted to and will be enrolling in tomorrow.

Eversince I was a little kid, I have had passion for fashion, artsy and filmsy clothing, color, sketching and designing… BACK THEN, I WAS VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT BECOMING A FASHION DESIGNER.

Teens, I started reading all these articles, blogs, newspapers, novels, and the like. I joined in school paper orgs and tries to build a blog. I WAS PASSIONATE ABOUT BECOMING A WRITER OR A JOURNALIST.

A year before finishing senior year, I thought about what I really want to be… then all the things that I was doing since I was a kid, came rushing  to me. I have always dreamt of wearing a white coat or green scrubs, sometimes seated in a clinic or sweating buckets to make someone feel better. I have always loved reading health, anatomy, sciences, watched National Geographic and Discovery Channel for fun and little by little understood what it showed.

IT IS MY DREAM TO BE A MEDICAL PRACTITIONER AND UNCONSCIOUSLY, I WAS TELLING THE WORLD THAT I AM GOING TO BE MAKING MY DREAM A REALITY IN TEN YEARS.

I may have given in to my dream but that doesn’t  mean that I am shoving my passions on to the trash bin, maybe if I have rightfully fulfilled my dreams and have served the purpose of my dream to the world, then maybe I can give in to myself and my passions. This is a personal theory, if you are willing to give in to your passions, then, GO FOR IT! 🙂

WHERE WILL I GO AFTER GOT TO BELIEVE?

            REALITY HITS ME. NO MORE GOT TO BELIEVE TO WATCH OUT FOR STARTING MONDAY.

I haven’t been hooked to a local TV show for a while now till Got To Believe happened. Now that it has ended, I am in pain. It’s painful because Got To Believe became a routine. It was my stress relief from a hard and tough day at school. It was where I was getting inspiration. The playful Joaquin grew into me, wanting him to be a gremlin under the rain and just multiply. Chichay’s artsy attitude and love for family was an inspiration (not to mention her braids!). The love story was challenging and it was a rough but worth-it roller coaster ride. The interrelationship of their respective families was a test of true love and destiny. The belief in magic though perceives fantasy was nevertheless interesting. GOT TO BELIEVE GAVE ME AN EXPERIENCE TO REMEMBER.

TOP 5 FAVORITE MOMENTS: 

5th:  THE AFTER THE MITING DE AVANCE SCENE.

The “Huwag mo na akong tawaging sir, Joaquin o Joaqy nalang… tsaka…. gusto kong maging magkaibigan tayo.”

4th:  THE MORNING MESSAGES OF JOAQUIN THAT CHICHAY WASN’T ABLE TO REPLY TO THEN HE CALLED…

JOAQUIN: Anong sagot mo dun sa tanong ko, “Goodmorning Chichay. Nasa school kana?”

CHICHAY: Goodmorning Joaqy. Wala pa’ko sa school andito pa ako sa sakayan.

JOAQUIN: Ah sige. Kita nalang tayo mamaya.

3th : JOAQUIN AS KNIGHT-IN-SHINING ARMOR

At Didith’s party…. At the Crillon Ball…. When Juliana despised Chichay…

   OH JOAQUIN, WHY ARE YOU A FICTIONAL CHARACTER?!

2nd: WHEN THEY ARE FINALLY AN ITEM (TTN -TAYONG TAYO NA FROM TNT-TAYO NA HINDI TAYO)

JOAQUIN’S, “GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, HOW MUCH I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.”

    OF COURSE. THE BEST ENDING EVER GETS THE TOP SPOT. 

 WHAT REALLY KILLED ME IN THIS ENCOUNTER SINCE EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND #BestEndingEver as it is, was on how they said I Love You and the nose-to-nose. JOAQUIN WHISPERING HIS I LOVE YOU FELT SO SINCERE IN SO MANY ILLEGAL WAYS AND CHICHAY’S DECLARATION OF LOVE SIGNIFIED THE TRUE BEST ENDING. :*********

MAY I JUST ADD. GOT TO BELIEVE ALSO MAKE ME LOVE TWO OTHER THINGS. 

• JOAQUIN SAN JUAN MANANSALA’S speaking voice in English A.K.A. DANIEL PADILLA’S ENGLISH SPEAKING VOICE IS WORTH MELTING FOR!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

• WHEN DANIEL PADILLA’S TEARS FAALLL. AHHHHHHHH. I JUST WANNA CRY WITH HIM.

DANIEL’S PERFECT TEARS : 

      WHILE ME:  

 BUT REALLY…. THE ENDING WAS …….

BUT.. BUT… BUT… NO MORE GOT TO BELIEVE…………….. T_T HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU T_T

COMPARISONS ARE EASILY DONE ONCE YOU’VE HAD A TASTE OF PERFECTION

NOW YOU HELP ME, HOW DO I MOVE ON?

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

In Defense Of A Disney Princess (Who Just Happens To Be Overweight)

2014 IS FOR YOU!

This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change. -Taylor Swift

        This may sound like cliche but a new year means a new beginning. A chance to a clean slate. A time to close one chapter and open fresh pages. An event to wash away the flaws of the past year and just breathe in the new breeze of 2014. But this new year, I hope you give a chance to You.

You that had your heart broken, conceive the love you deserve.
You that failed, do better! You have 365 days in front of you.
You that was alone, love yourself. Your self worth is more than anything.
You that was neglected, continue to do what you do best. You don’t need others to put you down.
You that got disappointed , maybe this is your year!
You that lost someone, be strong. You have angels now.
You that has unfinished business, work on them.
You that forgot how to smile, be happy. See the small things that matter the most.
You that got washed away, 2014 will be a rebuilding of something better than what you had.
You that failed to share, spare for others. That feeling is immeasurably irreplacable.
You that stumbled down, rise up from the challenge.
You… live your life in the hopes of making someone smile, giving someone happiness, becoming an agent of hope, being a blessing, and just someone for others. You’ll just be amazed at a fruitful year if you do. 🙂

       Things will change. It will never be the same but like what Atom Araullo tweeted, “2014 is just 2013 in disguise.” It’s YOU that’s going to make it a different one. Make a better story but keep the stories that 2013 brought.

To those who were devastated, see a brighter morning! Look forwarf to a bigger and brighter year ahead! Conceive healing and moving on.

HAPPY NEW YEAR and Make a better 2014! 🙂 hugs & glitterkisses!

Lost for a day.

 

                        Each dropping second of everyday is a bountiful blessing from above. Who knows your next second might be your last… but sometimes, I just want to know how would everybody feel if I get lost for a day. There are pains that only my heart knows. There are joys that only my soul knows. I’m made up but that doesn’t mean I’m a hundred percent fine. There are things that cannot be said or written in words. I just wanted to be okay, even just for a day. Free of all this cobwebs even just for 24 hours. Yes, I’m alive, breathing and well but being lost for a day won’t hurt a muscle or bone. 

in LOVE

DON’T GET ME WRONG. THIS AIN’T ROMANTIC LOVE. This is about my senior section, LOVE.

Yes, we are composed of vaguely different characters but we managed to accept each ones differences and gelled like jello.

Yes, we are seniors who have to make the most trivial life choices but we have to make this memorable.

Yes, we are noisy but that noise is coming from our hearts. Our glee couldn’t just be contained.

Yes, we are not perfect but we compliment each other.

Yes, we have arguments and petty misunderstandings but as what they say, that allows love to grow.

Maybe it was destiny, maybe it was luck, but I believe it is a blessing.

We had to be together cause we somehow would learn from each other.

We have a few more months left to make each minute into a beautiful moment.

I’m writing this now because it seems fitting. Christmas is up on five days and 2013’s gon bid goodbye.

It was a beautiful year for us and I want to thank all of you for it. This might be thought as biased but LOVE’s really the best.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS GUYS! 🙂

Thank you for all the laughter, happiness, aching jaws cause of too much joy, sincere smiles, beautiful stories, and most of all the learning I have all learned from you. Somehow, I know, I’ll be using them.

To be honest, I have proven with you guys that highschool’s the best adventure to go through and there, you’ll be meeting the best people, a family. Thanks for giving me a beautiful family 10-Love. You guys are beyond the best and awesome.

 

 Have a Merry Christmas! End 2013 with a bang! Welcome 2014 with cheers! Thanks for making all the challenges bearable 10-Love. Hoping that this wonderful family that has bloomed will continue to grow and stand as tall as a tree!

With Love & glitterkisses, Abby 🙂