I am doubting myself.
I am doubting my capabilities.
I am doubting the things that I already know.
I am doubting the cord that ties me to my dream.
I am doubting the possibility of becoming number one.
I am doubting the theories I once put above my head.
I am doubting if I truly deserve all these.
This is such a petty reason and that there are other more people who face bigger challenges and shortcomings-but as a seventeen year old, this is my world. My existence probably rely on these. The pride I long to give to my parents rely on these.
Months ago, I was certain that it was possible. Even if it felt like a shout to something that’s void, I never thought of a a scenario like now.
But as what they say, “there’s always a first time.” And I will make sure that this would be the first and the last. I’m gonna give it all now. If this would fail, I would take it as a sign an probably say bye.
Well, sometimes we have to give up what has passed and just brace ourselves for what’s to come. That was today, I will brace for tomorrow.